Exciting-but-not-really response to the Mayor

Dearest, honorable, and most high Mayor,

I have recently discovered an interesting fact, you honor. In Pennsylvania, it’s against the law to tie a dollar bill on a string on the ground and pull it away when someone tries to pick it up. Now this may seem silly to you, but it's not. I am endeavoring to convince you, not only of this law's utmost seriousness, but that Provo city needs to implement a similar law. I live in Orem city, and silly things like tying a dollar bill on a string and pulling it away when a recovery is attempted simply do not happen. We are above such base and vulgar shenanigans. In Provo however, this is a rampant problem. Just the other day in fact, I was walking down the road and saw a dollar bill, just lying there, screaming at me to be recovered. I bent down, intending to retrieve the lone currency note, and it jumped! I was aghast! A completely inanimate object moved by itself! Was there wind? No, the air currents were keeping to themselves that day. Was I hallucinating? Of course not! I have been completely LSD-free for at least a week. I still don't have the dollar, do I? That leaves just a single option. A nearby horrible scoundrel must have tied a string to the bill and pulled it away as I tried to pick it up! THIS MUST BE MADE ILLEGAL! Punishable by 259 years in prison, if not immediate death.
Please help our city to plug this gross hole in the law.

Thank you.
A concerned citizen.